How did Love Them Anyways get started? After a challenging parenting day, I visited my friend Evea, the school counselor at my work. I desperately needed a change of thinking, as I felt like I was drowning in the burdens of being a divorced single mother. I begin to unload every thought and emotion onto her. She listened and gave me the best advice: “Love them anyway,” she said. I will never forget our conversation. Thus, my blog name was born. I saved those simple but impacting words in my phone and told myself that if I ever author a book one day or start a blog, that would be the name.

       God was already at work changing my heart to see people the way He saw them despite the wounds, pain, and hardships they caused me. God was cultivating me and uprooting deep lies I have believed since childhood. He had bigger plans to show me what it is to love people anyway. (Matthew 5:43-44 NIV) states: “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”. God was pruning me and molding me to understand forgiveness and the love of Jesus.

    God would use the worst pain in my life to propel me into my purpose. Loving my enemies and understanding forgiveness only came when God put me in a position where I constantly had to show grace and mercy to the people who wounded me the most. How do we pray and bless our transgressors? How can we have unconditional and sacrificial love for the ones who caused us suffering and pain? The pruning process was painful, and I was being purified. (Proverbs 17:3 TPT) states, “In the same way that gold and silver are refined by fire, the Lord purifies your heart by the tests and trials of life.” These tests and trials had me on my knees, begging God to take it from me, but he did not. I am so thankful for the unanswered prayers because God, the author and creator of love, would show me what real love is.  

      God helped me see people the way he viewed them. Just as I was wounded and oppressed by the devil, my enemies were, too. (Acts 10:38 ASV) states: “Even Jesus of Nazareth, how God anointed him with the Holy Spirit and with power: who went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil, for God was with him.” God showed me they were wounded people, just like I used to be, who did not know the love and healing of the Father yet. The Armor of God states in (Ephesians 6:12 NIV), “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty evil spirits in the heavenly places.”

       God was showing me to look beneath the offense. Many Christians and unbelievers have unhealed wounds that Satan uses against us, tempting us to sin toward one another. When we realize that we have one true adversary, the devil, and not the people around us, our hearts start to soften, and we can model how Jesus loves others unconditionally and sacrificially.  

      Satan does not want us to “love our neighbors as ourselves.” (Mark 12:30-31 NIV) He only comes to “steal, kill, and destroy.” (John 10:10 NIV) The hope as believers is that we are redeemed through Jesus’ blood and made free through Him. God’s covenant promise to us is that he never “abandons us or forsakes us.” (Hebrews 13:5 NIV) (Ephesians 1:6-8 ESV) states, “To the praise of his glorious grace with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us in all wisdom and insight”.

       Jesus can heal our wounds, burdens, and offenses. One of my favorite verses is (Matthew 1:28-29 NIV); Jesus tells us to “come to him, all who are weary and burdened, and that he will give us rest. To place His yoke upon us so we can learn from him because He is humble and gentle, and we will find rest for our souls”. Only through Jesus can we find complete rest.  

        I remember looking at my former “enemies” and God telling me, “I was once his enemy,” BUT God forgave me unconditionally and  sacrificially.” I was overwhelmed with forgiveness. Two and half years ago, at my darkest hour of suffering, the Holy Spirit unexpectedly came upon me, and God removed the scales that blinded me for years. He showed me my sin and what was separating our relationship. I was crushed by the weight of my sin, knowing how far away I was from God. I saw and realized that everything I believed was a lie. I instantly saw all my failures and mistakes, which was overwhelming. I knew if their eyes were opened, as mine had been, they would feel crushed, too. My heart was filled with compassion and love; I only wanted to pray for them to know there is hope, healing, and freedom in Jesus Christ.

       God reminded me of my purpose, mission, and why he created me. Why am I here? Why are we called to suffer? We are called to be a servant of the Lord, to love our neighbor as ourselves, and to strengthen our brothers and sisters in Christ. We, as believers, are called to guide the lost into the light so they may become servants of the Lord and continue that cycle of redemption. Redemption for me is a changed heart, mine, and others. I would rather see the people who wounded me come to Jesus in true repentance and feel the love, forgiveness, and peace that only Jesus can give them. Do not miss the opportunity to learn wisdom from Jesus during your suffering. Jesus knows the gift of forgiveness and what it brings to you and others. It brings freedom, hope, and more love to this world. It brings more surrendered hearts to Him.